Relationships that give and relationships that only take…

[Pathways Of Grace]

We all have relationships of varying degrees of intimacy, love, communications, familial ties, and such. Each one is different in quality, type, interaction and closeness. But each and every relationship should be one that gives, in both directions, and only takes when something is given. Friendships, marriages, and all the rest, will thrive on love. Love gives more than it takes, and when there is more taking than giving, you are no longer in a true love relationship.

Sometimes this happens by accident, an unusual situation occurs and the person in the midst of the crisis may need more help, and understanding, than usual. Love gives this. But there are those who reach a place in their relationships where they become blind to the needs of others, where kindness and consideration no longer prevail. And in a fit of “I need you” they forget that others “need them”.

A word to the wise (and a few more to the otherwise)… let go!

This is a torturous condition that will only worsen with time. Many times when we leave them be, they finally see the acts of inconsideration they are doing. Often this is the only way to reach them and get them beyond their denial.

Love them, pray for them, and never shun them, but recalibrate your life to flow and function healthily, even if it means to leave them alone—even forever. It is required of us to sacrifice ourselves in love, Christ did this, but it was a sacrifice that had purpose and meaning. It did not put Jesus in a position to be a “doormat” for just any kind of behavior. He reiterated time and time again, that He sacrificed for His sheep, and as their, and our, savior, His sacrifice balanced the scales of life. Sacrifice without purpose, is love without wisdom.

We must always love with wisdom.

I have experienced this first hand, and others I know are going through these selfsame situations with their loved ones. It is a condition of life that people want others to be held accountable for their actions, but many times they themselves feel they should be given a pass. This is not right at any level. We should give what we want in return. If we stand responsible, then we have a right to expect responsible treatment towards ourselves. But if we feel that we should not be held accountable, on any thing, then we can not rightfully expect it of others.

Relationships are foremost about love. Love is well discussed within the covers of the Word of God. The “how” and “why” of it. It is the foundation of our walk of faith, and should be a living factor within our lives. People should be able to see it in action, feel it’s warmth, and be held in it’s embrace. We should be known by the depth and character of our love. And in turn, we should seek to be equally yoked to those who display a true and enfolding love themselves.

There will be many in the course of our lives who will call themselves friend, family or other things that entail a love relationship. But few will be true to that call, few will carry the load of love, even though it is light and joyous, simply because they don’t know what love is. Where do we find it? In God’s heart. So look to Him, in all His many facets, for that reflection of love, then reflect back to Him and your fellow man. Look to the cross and beyond, there is where love lives.

It should also live in our lives!

Be blessed, be loved and be at peace,

Jonathan