Characteristics of Safe and Unsafe People

[Daniel Baumet]

Safe

Listens to you
Hears you
Makes and maintians eye contact
Accepts the real you
Validates the real yu
Remains non judgmental
Is genuine with you
Is clear
Boundaries appropriate nd clear
Direct
No Triangles
Is supportive
Is loyal
Authentic in relationship
Has or creates time for you

[Daniel Baumet]

Unsafe
Will not listen
Does not hear
No eye contact
Rejects the real you
Invalidates, subjegates, and dominates the real you
Judgmental
Is false with you
Is not clear
Bounderies unclear (if boundereis exist), mixed messages
Indirect
Triangles in others
Competitive
Treacherous
Contrives the relationship
Will not make time for you


Note: Keep all unsafe persons in acquaintance Department

[Annette]

These are from an article from the July 2000 Focus on the Family magazine.
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If you're headed for a new relationship, be aware of anyone who:

-seeks instant intimacy

-wants all your time and your attention

-seems too good to be true. If the person appears to be the answer to all your problems, be assured he/she isn't

-plays the victim and makes you the rescuer of his/her woundedness

-wants to take over and fix your problems

-is highly persuasive to get what he/she wants such as sex, choice of restaurant

-displays a low level of frustration, such as blaming or angry outbursts, at everyday annoyances

-has a history of broken relationships

-shows jealousy of your time, friendships, past relationships, children, church or activities

-demonstrates blame, name-calling, property destruction and physical violence

-attacks the person instead of the problem

-struggles with being alone

[Shaina]

Good article Annette.

[Shaina]

Important stuff... especially for those of us who may not have the best pickers.

[Daniel Baumet]

I keep rereading this .. just to remind my self!

[Curt]

Focus on the Family produces some very solid articles and radio programs. I appreciated the posting Annette and the thread Daniel.

[Daniel Baumet]

TY